It’s strange to be able to miss a man you’ve never met, yet you feel your life, as good as it is, would only be that much better if Lennon were still alive. So many questions, such as where to go from here? Are we inspired to tap into the version of John Lennon that’s in all of us, feel his influence in whichever way we do? He seemed really “up there” when we were kids at the time he was putting out “Double Fantasy”. “Wow, he’s got wrinkles, man, he’s like FORTY!! Can rock stars still make records when they’re…FORTY??? (Oh, wow)”
This morning I listened to what I think is his best album, “Walls & Bridges”. It’s very introspective and honest, much like most of the songs in his catalogue. Later on, as I worked, I listened to his BBC interview with Andy Peebles. This one holds a special meaning to me because this is the first one I’d heard right after his murder, and it was taped just two days before. Later on, I took some quiet time to examine my feelings about his death, why I still mourn him. I was 17 when he was killed, and I’m now 57. It’s not me who’s missing out, but it’s John Lennon himself. He’s missing out on the gift that middle-age can be. He’s missing out on the fact that all his craziness is behind him, esp[ecially now that he would have been 80. He’s missing out on watching his two sons grow into middle-age adult men themselves. He’s missing out on enjoying his life as he would see fit. When I feel sad about John Lennon’s death, it’s because of that.
I’m grateful for years of memories, such as when I’d gone through a phase of KISS and disco, and even had that awful Sgt Pepper movie soundtrack. I was listening to it one night when it dawned on me that I could be listening to the real thing. Then at birthdays and Christmases, it was “I’d like a Beatles album, please”. I started catching back up and even had the gift of reruns of the cartoon series in which I would hear Beatle songs I’d never heard before. I even saw Magical Mystery Tour for the first time ever on an independent local station at 5:00 in the morning. I set my alarm and really enjoyed it. An album of rarities was being issued, Paul was coming out with McCartney II, and there were rumours of John going back into the studio. The minute I read the article, I was tempted to call record shops asking if they knew anything about it and when the new record would be out. I was thrilled when I heard “(Just Like) Starting Over” for the first time. I chuckled at his vocal, thinking it sounded like Elvis, and that’s exactly what he meant. He meant it to be tongue-in-cheek, he meant it to be a parody. I felt bad about laughing at it, but was thrilled when I discovered I got the joke, it was as if I were in on it. “Watching the Wheels” came next and it was even better than the first song. On the afternoon of December 8, I ran off to a department store down the block from school and headed straight for the record shelves. “Double Fantasy” was already sold out. I was disappointed but then thought to ask for it for Christmas. This was going to be the best Christmas ever if I did get the record, and then, twelve hours later…